Subject: Self-Introduction
Dear Prof Brad,
I am writing an introduction letter as a student of your module. My name is Calvin and had graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in automation & mechatronic system. Which mean i will stay within the polytechnic for a total of six years since i came from the same polytechnic. Perhaps I have an affinity with the number ‘six’. As I took whole ‘six’ year to complete my secondary school, along with the completion of my primary school which is additional ‘six’ years. I shall skip the reason of why I took six years to complete my secondary till the next time.
I would say I am a passionate learner as I love to handle tasks that are challenging as they excites me. I love to open and analyse basically any hardware or stationery as it always keeps me interested. Despite times where i forget how to reassemble, I will try to fix it back no matter what happens. This has sparked my interest into an engineering course since young. Which explained why i entered engineering course in SIT/UofG.
I believe communication is vital to everything we do in our daily lives. Without it, a message getting across would be very tedious. This is where I feel I could polish up on my presentation skill through this module.
During my national service period, I gained several experiences by working alongside with the regulars as a technician. Which allows me to converse well with them and complete the job as a team. By the end of this module, what I hope to achieve is to be a confident speaker without any fear when encountering a crowd as well as polishing my grammar and vocabulary.
Best regards,
Calvin Ang
Edited on 30/1/2020
Dear Prof Brad,
I am writing an introduction letter as a student of your module. My name is Calvin and had graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in automation & mechatronic system. Which mean i will stay within the polytechnic for a total of six years since i came from the same polytechnic. Perhaps I have an affinity with the number ‘six’. As I took whole ‘six’ year to complete my secondary school, along with the completion of my primary school which is additional ‘six’ years. I shall skip the reason of why I took six years to complete my secondary till the next time.
I would say I am a passionate learner as I love to handle tasks that are challenging as they excites me. I love to open and analyse basically any hardware or stationery as it always keeps me interested. Despite times where i forget how to reassemble, I will try to fix it back no matter what happens. This has sparked my interest into an engineering course since young. Which explained why i entered engineering course in SIT/UofG.
I believe communication is vital to everything we do in our daily lives. Without it, a message getting across would be very tedious. This is where I feel I could polish up on my presentation skill through this module.
During my national service period, I gained several experiences by working alongside with the regulars as a technician. Which allows me to converse well with them and complete the job as a team. By the end of this module, what I hope to achieve is to be a confident speaker without any fear when encountering a crowd as well as polishing my grammar and vocabulary.
Best regards,
Calvin Ang
Edited on 30/1/2020
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Calvin,
DeleteNice to meet you. I'm Benedict Cheong, one of your blogging buddies, nice job on the introduce email. I also graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic and will spent one extra year as compare to you because I am from PFP (Polytechnic Foundation Program). I am looking forward to the reason for the six years secondary post if possible. I have some comments regarding about your email but please take it as a pinch of salt as I am not sure whether if I am correct as well.
1. Organization of content in letter
I think it might be better to organize your content into a few paragraphs? Look neater and nicer.
2. Flow is good
I think the flow of your content was done well cause I am able to understand and interpret well on your email. Keep up the good work!
In conclusion, I hope to learn more about you as we go through this module together. See you around!
Best Regards,
Benedict Cheong Wen Quan
Thank you Benedict ! and had edited :)
DeleteDear Calvin,
ReplyDeleteNice to meet you! My name is Daryl, and we are from the same effective communications class. Having read your introduction letter, I feel that it was well written and I especially relate to the part where u mentioned working as a technician during your NS as I too work as a technician during my days serving in the navy. I would just like to point out a few things about your letter that could be slightly improved upon.
1.) In your 2nd paragraph, the line "to handle tasks that are challenging as it excites me...", "it" should be changed to "they" as you are referring to tasks, which is in plural form.
2.) It should "six whole years" instead of "whole six years".
3.) In your paragraph about being passionate about engineering, which I really like, it should be "stationery" instead of "stationary".
4.) In your 1st paragraph, 3rd line, I believe it should be "Which means..." instead of "Which mean..."
5.) In your communication strengths paragraph, I feel that you could probably dig deeper and talk more in depth about your strengths in communications.
Overall, I enjoy reading your introduction letter and I hope that you achieve your goals and aspirations by the end of this module!
Best regards,
Daryl Chow
Thank you Daryl and edited :)
DeleteDear Calvin,
ReplyDeleteThank you for this letter. It's informative and concise, though not always clear due to problems in grammar and sentence structure:
1. sentence structure
1a. sentence fragments
-- Which is why here I am in SIT/UofG. > ?
-- Which means I will probably be staying within the facility for whole six years. > ?
-- With the experience I gained throughout my time in national service by working alongside with the regulars as a technician. > ?
1b. comma splice
-- Without it, a message getting across would be very tedious, thus this is where I feel I could polish up on my presentation communication and conquer my stumbles whenever I feel nervous through this module > ?
2. subject-verb disagreement
-- it always intrigue me > ?
3. oversue of caps
-- your module Effective Communication. My name is Calvin and I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in Automation & Mechatronic System.
> ?
I appreciate your willingness to share with us. Let's work on polishing this; the journey
for you to achieve your module goals has begun!
Cheers,
Brad
Thank you Professor ! Am looking forward to more of your classes ! I will polish my skills as the journey goes with the module end goal in mind!
Delete